These Are The Weirdest Trials Ever

The United States is well known for strange, archaic state laws that were never stripped from the books. But we’re also known for our lack of tolerance — whether direct actions affect us or not. We’re also known for settling disputes by filing frivolous lawsuits for huge sums of money. Allegedly, anyway. Here are some of the strangest lawsuits that resulted in a jury trial. None of them resulted in criminal charges. 

Erasmus University in Rotterdam allegedly kicked out a student because of his smelly feet. According to the university’s lawyers, Teunis Tenbrook’s feet smelled so bad that staff couldn’t function at the extraordinarily high level expected of them. The suit took ten years to play out before a judge said that Rotterdam’s staff was not legally allowed to expel due to foot odor.

A D.C. judge brought a pair of pants to the local dry cleaner in 2005, but the dry cleaner accidentally sent them to a different location during the cleaning process. They were retrieved, but the judge refused to accept the clothing. Instead, he decided to sue the dry cleaner to the tune of $67 million by arguing that the owners had not delivered on their “satisfaction guaranteed” promise while potentially violating a consumer protection law. He lost the case and has not been reappointed to his position. 

Remember the TV show Dexter? One New York woman sued Showtime after she fell down the stairs after viewing the advertisement of actor Michael C. Hall wrapped in cellophane. Showtime’s representatives claimed that because the fall was not predictable (unlike hot coffee being hot), they were not responsible for what happened. They also contended that they were not morally or civilly obligated to provide protection from the advertisement. A judge ultimately dismissed the case. 

Magician David Roller claimed that David Copperfield had pilfered his patented divine abilities — but failed to prove in court that he had a patent or the divine abilities that might require such a patent. The case was dismissed after the suit was amended to claim that Copperfield had conspired to have him killed. Roller is no longer legally allowed to file lawsuits.

The Ancient Roman Master Of Poisons: Locusta

When you think of a poison expert, what first springs to mind? A person meddling in the dark arts? Or someone adept at finding antidotes to common poisons? In Ancient Rome, the best expert you might find would be skilled at making poisons. A number of Roman historians, including Tacitus, Suetonius, and Cassius Dio, described the notorious Locusta’s elicit career and her equally elicit end. Modern poisoners like Linda Stratmann and William Palmer may have taken cues from their predecessors.

In Ancient Rome, if you made your career in killing, you were just as likely to be killed yourself whether you were following orders or not. Keep that in mind if you ever find yourself thrown backward through time.

Locusta’s storied history started the moment she decided to serve as a poisons expert for Agrippina the Younger, a Roman empress described as ruthless, violent, and power-hungry. By 54 AD Locusta had already been formally charged and imprisoned on poisoning charges. This was before the work she did under Agrippina.

What did she do?

Locusta provided her employer with a poison that was then sprinkled on mushrooms given to Agrippina’s husband, Emperor Claudius. The best way to poison an emperor? Make sure the food taster is on your side. Even though Agrippina made sure to have Claudius’s food taster hand the poisoned mushroom to the emperor himself, the poison still wasn’t enough to get the job done. Instead, the pair of villains moved onto their next plot. They provided Claudius’s doctor with a poisoned feather, which was then thrust down his throat in order to induce vomiting (most likely after health problems from the mushrooms developed, because that’s just the way these stories go).

Even though she was still locked away, Locusta’s career was not over.

Agrippina’s son was the Emperor Nero, and he would eventually call on Locusta in 55 AD to murder Claudius’s son. After all, if you murder the father, you can’t let his spawn escape. He’s likely to come after you someday! It’s logic.

Anyway, Locusta’s poison failed to eliminate its target as quickly as Nero desired. After he beat her and threatened her life, she opted to provide him with a poison of the faster-acting variety. The death of Claudius’s son left Nero in such a state of jubilation that he decided to provide Locusta with a pardon for any and all crimes she may have committed. He even gave her land and wealth. Convinced that she had secrets worth knowing, Nero sent students to Locusta’s new home so that they might learn the art of poisoning themselves.

It’s always best to have more than one murderer in your employ, after all.

When Nero fled Rome in 68 AD and eventually committed suicide, Locusta’s own prosperity was in jeopardy. The new emperor chained her alongside a number of Nero’s other pets, including Patrobius, Narcissus, and Helius. He had them dragged through the city so that all might see what happens when you follow the orders of a crazy leader, and then executed the lot of them. It never pays to poison.

How A Real Life Crime Inspired A New DUI Law In Maryland

While working on a DUI special task force in Montgomery County, Maryland, 24-year-old Noah Leotta was in the process of stopping another vehicle for suspicion of DUI on December 3, 2015. When he was returning to his police car, he was struck and ultimately killed by Luis Gustavo Reluzco. Prior to the accident, Reluzco was drinking and using Marijuana.

In response to this tragic accident, Maryland passed a new act entitled Drunk Driving Reduction Act of 2015 also known as Noah’s Law. The act was signed by Governor Larry Hogan on May 19th, 2016 and was put into effect on October of that year.

The law requires an ignition interlock system to be installed on cars operated by anyone who was convicted of a DUI, a DWI while transporting a minor or anyone who was convicted of vehicular manslaughter while driving under the influence or while intoxicated. The law also determines the length in which drivers licensed should be suspended if a blood alcohol test is refused or if the result is over .15.

Maryland is known for its very strict legislation regarding those who are pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving. First-time offenders face up to a year in prison and a $1000 fine. Their look back period is also 5 years which can make multiple DUI charges add up quicker than other states.